Thoughts on turning 50
I will be 50 at the end of April.........Here are some thoughts on turning 50.
When I write the number 50 it looks like such a big number. I would never buy 50 tomatoes. When I was in my 20's, 50 seemed so old. My 8 year old neighbor thinks I’m ancient. I don’t feel ancient. I don’t "feel" 50. But then again, what is 50 supposed to feel like. I know what 50 "looks" like every morning when I wash my face. 50 has more lines around my eyes - created from laughter. 50 has a few shots of gray through my hair created from living. 50 has breasts that are more downward than upward, created by 2 children and gravity. 50 has various scars created by life and doctor’s knives. 50 has vision that needs glasses more and more. 50 has joints that talk to me when I over do it. 50 has the spirit of the 8 year old but the forgetfulness of one much older. I look back on 50 years of living. I have been a daughter, sister, friend, wife and mother. I have seen death and birth and I have grown and learned from both of these. I have taken something away with me from each person I have met and learned something about myself. You would think that after 50 years you would know yourself inside and out but I do not. I am still learning and exploring different parts of myself. I hope that this self discovery continues forever. I have been very fortunate in this life I have been given. I had parents that loved and nurtured me. I have a husband of nearly 30 years that I not only love but also like. I have learned that you can love someone and not like them at the same time. I have 2 sons that I am extremely proud of. I get to wake up in a house that I fell in love with when I was 14. I get to sit in a garden that Jerry and I created. I get to create art every day. My life is good at 50. I have lost 50 pounds. It is amazing what a kick in the rear it is for a doctor to tell you that you are diabetic. And I am grateful to him for telling me that. Today I feel better than I have in a long time. I am living my life the best way I know how. I am grateful for everything that has been given to me and I try to give back as much as I can. My life is good......50 is good.
When I write the number 50 it looks like such a big number. I would never buy 50 tomatoes. When I was in my 20's, 50 seemed so old. My 8 year old neighbor thinks I’m ancient. I don’t feel ancient. I don’t "feel" 50. But then again, what is 50 supposed to feel like. I know what 50 "looks" like every morning when I wash my face. 50 has more lines around my eyes - created from laughter. 50 has a few shots of gray through my hair created from living. 50 has breasts that are more downward than upward, created by 2 children and gravity. 50 has various scars created by life and doctor’s knives. 50 has vision that needs glasses more and more. 50 has joints that talk to me when I over do it. 50 has the spirit of the 8 year old but the forgetfulness of one much older. I look back on 50 years of living. I have been a daughter, sister, friend, wife and mother. I have seen death and birth and I have grown and learned from both of these. I have taken something away with me from each person I have met and learned something about myself. You would think that after 50 years you would know yourself inside and out but I do not. I am still learning and exploring different parts of myself. I hope that this self discovery continues forever. I have been very fortunate in this life I have been given. I had parents that loved and nurtured me. I have a husband of nearly 30 years that I not only love but also like. I have learned that you can love someone and not like them at the same time. I have 2 sons that I am extremely proud of. I get to wake up in a house that I fell in love with when I was 14. I get to sit in a garden that Jerry and I created. I get to create art every day. My life is good at 50. I have lost 50 pounds. It is amazing what a kick in the rear it is for a doctor to tell you that you are diabetic. And I am grateful to him for telling me that. Today I feel better than I have in a long time. I am living my life the best way I know how. I am grateful for everything that has been given to me and I try to give back as much as I can. My life is good......50 is good.
posted by Zardo and Odraz @ 2:56 PM
2 Comments:
At 3:33 PM,
Lori S-C said…
Happy Birthday friend...
don't underestimate the wisdom of 50! That is the best part of all! You have a very fortunate life and you are loved by many!
Best,
Lori
At 9:12 AM,
Gypsy said…
FIFTY! Ah 50 is the new 30! So they tell me! Giggle I know it is a hard thing to roll off the tongue, like my son will be TWENTY-EIGHT...that is so close to 30! Yikes I don't feel old! The only clues are the hairs growing under my chin! What is up with that anyway? Suddenly our hormones go whack!
50 is great! I love the way you describe it... MORE of yourself! Yes the character of lines, scars, the road map of our lives. The silver gleening in the sun...the skin sagging and the butt going south...but we have learned so much and yet nothing!
Isn't that great about life!? I love that there is always some thing else to learn! Some thing else to see! Some one else to love!
I just don't understand how it goes by all so fast...that for me I was petrified for so long...at least 30 years to be able to be myself and now I feel like I am finally coming into my own...I own my life...I own where I am going...where I have been and I have let the bitterness all go. I am grateful even though my life has not been a walk in the park!
I hope as I reach FIFTY that I will be just more of myself ... like you are! It seems that you have decided to be like me...do it naturally...embrace the age where I am at...and don't force the clock back.
TOO often many of my friends ahead of me are doing surgery... botox... anything to look 20... I want to be who I am and embrace the lines...gray...gravity and know that I have lived a full life. And that where we are now is GREAT! It has been a bit disappointing to me how many women in my life are fiting aging... like there is some thing wrong with us!
SO at the end of April CELEBRATE the beautiful woman that you are! The Artist...the Friend...the Wife...the Mother...the Daughter...and real woman! : )
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