Thoughts on turning 50

I will be 50 at the end of April.........Here are some thoughts on turning 50.

When I write the number 50 it looks like such a big number. I would never buy 50 tomatoes. When I was in my 20's, 50 seemed so old. My 8 year old neighbor thinks I’m ancient. I don’t feel ancient. I don’t "feel" 50. But then again, what is 50 supposed to feel like. I know what 50 "looks" like every morning when I wash my face. 50 has more lines around my eyes - created from laughter. 50 has a few shots of gray through my hair created from living. 50 has breasts that are more downward than upward, created by 2 children and gravity. 50 has various scars created by life and doctor’s knives. 50 has vision that needs glasses more and more. 50 has joints that talk to me when I over do it. 50 has the spirit of the 8 year old but the forgetfulness of one much older. I look back on 50 years of living. I have been a daughter, sister, friend, wife and mother. I have seen death and birth and I have grown and learned from both of these. I have taken something away with me from each person I have met and learned something about myself. You would think that after 50 years you would know yourself inside and out but I do not. I am still learning and exploring different parts of myself. I hope that this self discovery continues forever. I have been very fortunate in this life I have been given. I had parents that loved and nurtured me. I have a husband of nearly 30 years that I not only love but also like. I have learned that you can love someone and not like them at the same time. I have 2 sons that I am extremely proud of. I get to wake up in a house that I fell in love with when I was 14. I get to sit in a garden that Jerry and I created. I get to create art every day. My life is good at 50. I have lost 50 pounds. It is amazing what a kick in the rear it is for a doctor to tell you that you are diabetic. And I am grateful to him for telling me that. Today I feel better than I have in a long time. I am living my life the best way I know how. I am grateful for everything that has been given to me and I try to give back as much as I can. My life is good......50 is good.

I killed it

Jazz killing the red feather toy thingy as Gracie looks on in boredom.

Installed Rock!!

The rock has been installed in the back yard!! It looks so great out there. I want him to make several so we can have a rock garden.

I have a dryer!!!

The dry is fixed!! I have never been so grateful for anything in my life. Not only do I not have to go to the dreaded laundry mat again but I also don't have to go out shopping for a new dryer. When Jerry got home from work he went directly to the dryer with some sort of wire testing gauge thingy. He poked, he prodded, he screwed screws, he followed wires. My job was to hold the flash light and suggest that perhaps we should unplug the dryer before he touches those wires. He thought he had it fixed, we plugged it in and with much anticipation pushed the button. Nothing. It just sat there like a big white dryer. I mentioned that if we wanted dinner that night that I really had to get into the kitchen and finish what I had started. he worked a bit more before I called him for dinner. He thought about it more during dinner and afterwards went back out to the dryer. I finished up the kitchen and went out to the garage to check on the progress. He is standing by the dryer and pushes the button.....it works!!! I do a happy dance all over the garage. I hug, I kiss, I an estatic. I don't have to return to the dreaded laundry mat. I had visions of hanging clothing outside on trees, over fences, anything to get them dry and then of course they would be stiff as boards since I don't use downey. I am so grateful to have a man that not only is able to fix things like this but even seem to enjoy the problem solving part of it.

Dead Dryer aaauuuggggg

I do two loads of laundry this morning, take one out to the dryer and THE DRYER WON'T WORK. I check the fuse box, I unplug it and plug it back in, I open and close the door, I do everything that I can think of to get it to work. It won't work. I put all the wet clothes into the basket and drive them to the LAUNDRY MAT. Now you must keep in mind that I have never been inside a laundry mat and just happen to know where one is because there is one by the vet we go to. I go in there, find a dryer and put the clothes into it. I read all the instructions and it says to put the money into the slot. For the life of me I cannot find the coin slot. I go to a window and ask a very nice little old woman where the coin slot was. she says one moment, comes around the counter and out of her house coat pocket pulls a credit card looking thing. asks me how long and puts the card into the machine. it counts up to the time that I want and starts the machine. i pay the woman. I go to the back of the place to write in my journal at a table. The snotty nosed children also decide to sit there and kick the legs of the table so the whole thing moved. They are coughing and wiping their noses with the backs of their hands. I should be dead by next week, I'm sure of it. I packed my stuff up and went over to my dryer to wait for it to finish. I do not like laundry mats and never want to go to another one for the rest of my life.

ROCK!!!

Jerry took a class over the weekend on rebar and concrete. He made a rock. Yes, a rock. And it is a fabulous rock. It will be installed in the garden after it has finished curing.

naked steps

This is the before picture of the steps leading up to the back. The grass is hideously dead because of the horrible frost that we had. It will start to green up soon. I am painting the steps three different colors. Will post photos when done.

Dying!!!! Fabric that is........

I have been dying fabric lately using Elmers blue gel school glue as the resist. And it works!!! I put down the glue, hung it out to dry, and after that I painted the dye on. Hung that up to dry, let it sit for 24 hours, heat set with an iron and held my breath as I put it into the washing machine. It worked!! The glue washed right out and the color was beautiful. The purple one pictured is already washed and ready to go, the blue one is dry, not yet heatset or washed. I think that I will use the fabric to make a pair of pants, one let in purple and one leg in blue.

Girl with flowers

This is what I just finished. She has a paper blouse, collar and cuffs are phone book pages, jeans are, well, jean material and her belt is leather. The flowers are paper. I need to frame her and then she is ready for hanging.